SAILORS....LIKE IT OR NOT!

The new paradigm: Life as we know it is over, things are forever changed. I’m not discussing reality for the CEO’s and  money brokers on Wall street with private jets and limousines, I’m talking about everyone else, not just those who bought “The Killa Villa on the Hilla” but those who struggled to move from rental to small house to medium house and so on. Those of us who hoped things would be easier for our children and our grandchildren than it was for us, those of us who didn’t take it for granted and who shared what we had. Not only is it hard for our children, our own lives teeter on the brink.

It’s like our health and the health of our loved ones everything can seem fine one moment but in the blink of an eye, a snap of a finger everything can change.

 Never again can we stretch ourselves to the next level for the rule makers are changing the rules as fast as they can be established. Even when you think you are adjusting and finding a new reality, things shift, one or two seemingly imperceptible actions taken by others out of your control and the sand beneath your feet vanishes.

So how do we cope?  How can we adjust when we think we cannot adapt anymore? It’s the key to survival for all of us whether our issues are of money or health or both. How do we take in the new reality when we already feel at the brink? The only answer I have is:  One moment at a time……….. pausing, evaluating, giving loving kindness to yourself and others around you. Take a moment to breath and not attack others or ONESELF.  Don’t play the blame game as easy as it is to do, it’s not helpful and in the end only leads to regret.

If we could all imagine ourselves manning a sailboat, we’d have to deal with the constant weather and wind changes, we would stop to look at the reality of what’s happening and adjust our sails. The wind shifts quite often and it is not the failure of the sailor that it has done so.  The sailor has to adjust the sail and change directions 1 time, 10 times, 100 times or 1000 times,. It just is…………..

Sounds so simple, so uncomplicated. Simple yes, but hard to do, but what choice do we have? Sit still in the middle of the ocean and possibly perish.  For me that is not an option.  I will be adjusting my sails, yet again.

 

Where Do You Fit In?

Back in the garden again (seems to be a hotbed of inspiration) It’s early in the morning and I’m tired but it’s the best time to garden when things are quiet and the heat still hasn’t shown itself, everything smells good and feels moist so it’s like being surrounded by loving friends.

In the rear of our yard we have a functional cement wall which holds up the dirt under our house and patio (pretty important) as well as protects an Oak tree on the other side. Functional …yes, beautiful …no, so I started planting inside the funny little spaces between the cement blocks. As I was stuffing the little plants in the spaces today I realized there aren’t too many plants who would like being squeezed and shoved into this barren space, but this particular plant actually thrives there fitting snuggly inside. It is definitely happy finding it’s own perfect fit, fulfilling it’s destiny to drape and bloom over the cement wall, creating something beautiful from something functional and rather ugly.

We humans are a lot like that little plant each with our own special niche, our own unique purpose, never exactly the same as anyone else’s but fitting perfectly in unison with each other.  If we could all find our own unique space we would fit together like a giant puzzle, each piece complementing and enabling the other pieces, no one piece any more important than another all working together to create one glorious masterpiece. Rather than looking for our 5 minutes of fame, we need to be looking at what’s really important to us personally.

Unfortunately, so many of us give up looking for our space, thinking it too hard to get to, too impossible to find, or not having faith it’s out there at all. We put obstacles in our way like drugs, alcohol, procrastination, or just plain fear. If we could put those obstacles aside and follow our true path and purpose, we would not only bloom brightly like that little plant but we would be setting an example for our children and all those around us that it can be done. What an amazing world we would create if we all found our little niche and shone our lights brightly!

Let’s give it a shot, starting today. 

4th or Farce?

I saw the most shocking segment on Regis and Kelly and had to share it with you,  it was described as a way to make a simple 4^th of July celebration for friends by a representative from  “Real Simple” magazine (which in my humble opinion should now be called “Really Stupid magazine”).  

The idea was to create a barbeque for your friends and family by serving …Fast Food! Kentucky Fried Chicken, dumped into your own pretty basket, chinese takeout, spare ribs that you put on a platter and sprinkle with sesame seeds, shrimp (msg no extra charge) put into your own bowl, and pizza which you cut into small shapes and drop on some olives to pass it off as a feast you made yourself. Voila, let the fast food fest begin!

Ok let’s be honest, at some point we all break down and grab some fast food but to recommend it as a viable solution for a relaxed holiday celebration with friends!!!!! Have we learned nothing in the last 20 years? First of all we have to question the quality of the ingredients, the fat content, and chemicals we are serving (contributing to our national rate of rampant obesity, many of whom are our children) the packaging, all those cartons, boxes and plastic containers ruining our environment, and the huge financial cost in mark-up to fast food companies. As we as a nation try to spend our money in the most efficient and effective way as to enhance our lifestyle and happiness these ideas are ridiculous!

More importantly, there is the integrity issue, we are to pass off fast food as our own by sprinkling a few sesame seeds and making it look pretty! What are we teaching our children about truth and values, if we can’t find time and a way to truthfully cook a simple meal and celebrate with friends and family, we are at an all time low. Let’s face it this may be “Real Simple”, but it’s simply a bad idea.

Have we lost so much in our quest to hurry up and get to the next event that we’ve forgotten that the joy is in the process, that is the lesson we should be teaching our children and sharing with our friends. It’s not work if you live in the moment and create something authentic from your soul, then your celebration becomes truly a gift to yourself and our guests!

Try it and see!

Wishing a joyful and loving holiday to all!

The Great Lavender Adventure

It always amazes me how gardening is just like life.  Today I spent the morning cutting back my lavender plants. I cut the stems and buds and bundled them in hopes of making a dried lavender sachet as a gift for everyone who comes to the baby shower I am hosting for my daughter.

 

In order to get the full scent of the lavender bud you must cut the beautiful, purple lavender flowers while they are in full bloom. So it’s a bit of a quandary, because you also want to enjoy them in your garden, admiring the beauty and smelling them in full bloom. About half my lavender plants were already spent, no more perfect purple flowers to cut and dry for further use, just the knowledge that I’ve enjoyed their blooms and smells for the last month, the rest of the plants I cut for the sachets.

 

In life we have to make similar tough decisions.  It was hard for me to cut the rest of the plants that were in full bloom, but if I didn’t I wouldn’t have any sachets to share with friends and family, a token of my personal joy which I get to live with every day.

 

During the cutting process, the bees were swarming around me trying to get to every last flower before I cut it.  Hundreds of them buzzing and moving in the lavender plants, but not a one stinging me.  Maybe they accept the circle of life better than humans do.  We have to make hard choices every day, stay at home with our kids full time and enjoy the pleasures and challenges of being a stay at home mom, while possibly leaving a booming career we love and might never get back to. On the other hand we can work out of the home full time and feel that we miss the everyday surprises our children provide, bringing up the old debate quality time vs. quantity time.

 

Some of us are lucky enough to have that choice. For some there is no choice, but in either case we receive different gifts.   I don’t know a single woman who feels like she is 100% satisfied with her choices all of the time, but what I remembered today in my lavender adventure is this: Somehow I always get to have the best of both.  Some plants I have smelled and enjoyed for many weeks now, and some I had to cut down in their prime for the knowledge that they will serve me later in a different way.  Bringing joy and delicious smelling memories to me and my loved ones.

 

As it is with life and motherhood, our gifts come in different packages.  Different wrapping.  However, if we look hard enough they are always there for us to find.

 

Enjoy a beautiful day and discover as many gifts as you can!

 

What's Next?

First of all that question is to assume motherhood ends. Motherhood has given me some of the greatest moments in my life and some of the most challenging, it's been the best decision I've ever made and yet I feel like I've jumped on a never ending carnival ride. Even though my kids are teens and young adults they still need me in ways I could never have imagined.

  Years ago when my children were toddlers, I remember mom's talking about "what they wanted to be when they grew up" as if somehow our roles as mothers ended or were not enough, looking back now I see how naive we were.